Saturday 23 February 2013

The Hurt

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

"Do you want to get back together?" she asked. It was the second time she had come back to me. She cheated on me with this guy in her class and later realized that I was her "true love". I was happy. I was madly in love with her. I wanted to take her back but this had happened before. It was like deja vu. She was strongly attracted to this other guy and couldn't resist him when her was around. He, like a douche, used to follow her around, knowing that she was with someone else. I can't blame the guy. She just wasn't herself with me. She had a thing for bad guys while I had none of those qualities.

If I was put in the guy's scenario, I'd never have made a move. Heck, I'd have stopped the girl from making a move. I value honour and integrity much more than the temptation to flirt with someone else's girl.

But here I was. She was in tears, this felt like a dream. She missed me and wanted me back again. She had cheated on me before and I had lost all trust but, there she was. ‘My heart was saying “Yes” but my head was saying “No”‘. I wanted this moment to pass and directly go to the ending where me and her drive into the sunset and we live happily ever after. I said "yes". It wasn't easy, a lot of questions plagued my mind, would I be able to trust her again? Would she stop talking to this other guy? What if she starts talking to him again? Will I be able to handle it?

I jumped into the relationship right back with my eyes closed. I trust blindly because that's the only way I know to love. I held her tight, told her I missed her. She smiled. She was happy too. We took trips together.

We went to a fish spa on Valentine's day, held hands. Exchanged cards. I made her cry with my love. It was picture perfect. I wanted it to live on forever. Then something came up, I had to leave the city for a few months. It was a big deal for both of us. Ever since we had got back together and it had been a while, one month to be precise, there wasn't a day we hadn't met. How badly I was going to miss her. I told her I'll stay connected. I told her to wait for me. I was the knight in shining armour who was setting sail just to come back for his damsel. It was my fairytale.

One week before my departure, she was feeling a bit sad. Said she didn't want to talk. The next morning, I called her for lunch but she said she wasn't hungry. I said I'd just come and pick her up, asked her location. She reluctantly told me where she was. I went there. As I entered the street, I saw a guy hiding his face, tiptoeing away. She froze with fear. I had reached a minute too early.

Monday 4 February 2013

Why do I love her?

Before actually sitting down to write this, I was under the impression that this would be the simplest thing to write about, being so close to my feelings. Turns out- it isn't. I love her but don't exactly know why. Maybe because my thinking and reasoning abilities aren't at their best at the moment or maybe because if I knew *why* I loved her, it wouldn't be called "love" then. I just love her because I love her. I don't love or couldn't have loved any other girl because any other girl wouldn't have been her.


I love her 'cause she deserves to be loved. She is love personified. I can feel her heartbeat when she talks to me, I know her. I know that behind that young girl there is a sensible, mature lady. When she whispers those three magical words in my ears, my heart takes a plunge. She says- "I love you." and I close my eyes, take a deep breath as my heart stops beating and freezes in the moment; goosefleshes run through my skin. My heart sinks deeper in my chest, as if firmly announcing its victory over other realms of my thought sphere.

http://www.ecards-passion.net/ulybka-art/images/i-love-you-spanish2-2.jpg
I love her because I know I can be all that she needs. I can swap skins with her, I can be her and no one will spot my camouflage. I know her from within. When I close my eyes, I hear her; when I open my eyes, my eyes search for her. When I do anything, her happiness remains my top priority. I want her to get happier by every breath I take. I just want to make her the happiest girl on earth and I know nothing else.