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Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Last Blog Of the Year 2008

Hey 2008, you've been a great company thus far.... but just as I betrayed 2007 and fell in your lap... I must betray you for my mistress that I have secretly been thinking of: 2009. I know I am a dog, I know, I know.

Anyway... I'll remember you. You've been an year of self-realization. Whew! You almost turned me into an out and out emo! I rode through sea waves, touched (well, almost!) the corals... stayed on islands... traveled through all kinds of terrains... so, basically you were an year of travel; both geographically and psychologically. And yet, I can't say... Boy! Have I come a long way or not! 'Cause, I have not! I am still there. Maybe an inch or two deeper in the mud with cow-dung flung over my face and no mirror to laugh at myself.

I thank you for being an year of experiences. I maintain that an experience- no matter bad or good- is an experience. I don't thank you for throwing the realization over and over again to my face that I am not God, I cannot be God and I don't like the guy who's on the job at the moment 'cause frankly, he's pathetic at it. Terrible! And no, Santa didn't come this year either! Blah!

Hoping 2009 would be a little more terror-free, peaceful and would at least fetch me a loving girlfriend and some trustworthy friends.


Addition: ....And a bike!

Additional addition: ... A Sports bike! A stylish one!

Additional additional addition: .... A Yamaha FZ to be specific.

Saturday, 27 December 2008

Note to self!

I have started viewing life and people in a different light altogether. My outlook is changing and I am so darn proud of this transition- this coming of age. Happiness is something that hides behind your skin. Some jokes that get under your skin can be brushed under the carpet just by one wink of your loved one. (Yikes! I am again talking crap!)

Since time immemorial, I have been listening to the happiness-is-not-conditioned bullcrap but only now, have I realized the meaning. Yesterday, I crossed paths with a strong personality and she took me to a ride. She had a slip, a small piece of paper which had the answer to my tireless soul-searching venture. It wasn't a shortcut to happiness- it was a way towards happiness. Listening to others is a big mistake. Not listening to your heart is an even bigger mistake. I leave it to the reader to muse further.

Friday, 19 December 2008

Motivations

Motivation finds its source in strange locations. Sometimes it is as simple as an achievement or a person extraordinaire but, other times, it hides behind angst, ecstasy, hatred or just boredom. The strangest of them all, in my view, is neglect. A person neglected or feeling neglected... can get motivated. How? Let me think about the cascade reaction.......

Monday, 8 December 2008

Well...

Dilemma is the word for this month.

Friday, 5 December 2008

Belated dose

Well.... haven't got the time to write anything here. Been a while... blah blah blah...

Anyway,

So, I finally met Vinita and it all just seems like yesterday. And no, it wasn't yesterday! Life has come a full circle and I've just realized that it is an outward spiral more than a circle.... whatever that means!

I have this hunger within myself about which I am not doing anything.... It is the hunger for love, to be popular and to do what no one has done before. To rule the aisles, to reign supreme and to take the charge of my life.

The biggest obstacle in my way is that my life isn't mine anymore. Never it was but, now it is more evident. I am ruled by the people around me, the experiences that befall me... which is unavoidable for a mere mortal like me. I have a bigger goal to achieve but the trivialities of the travel keep my eyes off my goal...

More crap later.

Friday, 10 October 2008

Update

Back from Manipal trip. Mentally am still where I started from. Planning a surprise gift for Jalebi.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Unprescribed!

Well, regular doses haven't been regular ever since I came back to Davangere... heh! Anyway, here's a quick update on what I have been like in the past few days.

Second year comes bundled with more practical classes than I could ever imagine in first year. I am lagging back, pushing myself (Well, not really!) to match up! My digits are trying hard to catch up with this race of index fingers and thumbs working meticulously on wax blocks, extracted teeth etc. This gets boring at times but, when it starts getting reeeeeely boring, something laughable, amusing happens to keep the spirits alive. If there is God, this balancing act is the strongest indication of His presence.

Mom's b'day jus' passed.... I sent her a very special card telling her how special she is for me.... she liked it. Grandma (Dadi) has caught herpes. She will fight back, I know. But God! Why her!?

I am in a dilemma of my own kind. Can't even talk to myself about it.... You might think what the hell I am talking about.... Well, it is just that there's one friend who's more than a friend for me but, I think the vice versa is not true and even if it is....... I don't know what it is! Blah!

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

In Davangere

Hah! Back to college again... the burden seems to be multiplying day by day. The results are still awaited. Emotional turmoil underway....

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Travelogue! Traveloge! Travelogue!

We set out from Gwalior for an overnight journey to Indore.

Indore.
A city of foodies. It has developed a lot in the past decade, learned to progress with time and can be called the commercial capital of Madhya Pradesh. The people here are smooth-talkers. The talk is so saccharine-coated here that it tends to repulse *sometimes*... but, Indore will be loved for its accented tongues and rich cultural diversity.

A few hours journey from Indore took us to Ujjain.

Ujjain.
The city of Mahakaal Lord Shiv, called by many names in the past. This city boasts of its antediluvian culture. There was Mahakaal temple where you have to wait in a long queue to go to the temple situated in a cave filled with the aroma of marigolds and a commotion of spirited people. Then there was the Bhairav Baba who's offered liquor as "Prasaad". The place I loved the most was the ghat situated on the banks of River Shipra (or more correctly Kshipra). Simply divine. The agnostic in me had taken a backseat and I had fully immersed myself in the mood of the city. If God exists, he must be feeding on human faith in India 'cause it is in abundance here.

Then we took off to the commercial capital of India- Mumbai. This was the first time in my life that I had boarded a flight, believe it or not, till now... I had been traveling in a world where buses and trains were the only feasible options.

Mumbai.
Not much to do here especially when you are with family. The Gateway of India and the Hotel Taj facing each other is a sight to behold. The Haaji Ali Dargah is so humbling, it takes you down to your knees while you watch in awe. We also went to see the Siddhi Vinayak Temple, the hanging gardens and Mahalaxmi temple. But, more of the time was spent crawling in the traffic. The Victoria Terminal Station is majestic and brings so many deja vus for a regular Hindi cinema goer. Mumbai is too busy to wait for anyone.

In the evening, we were flown to Chennai. This is the place about which perhaps I have the most to say about-

Chennai.
Tamilians don't like Hindi. Period. What I thought was a mere predisposition by the North Indians- the ones who call all South Indians- Madrasi and mock their accents and even language. But, turns out that the Tamilians indiscriminately loathe the Hindi language and those who mouth it. Hope things are a-changing now. No signs for it though. Chennai... a city of the learned ones. The ones who prefer The Hindu- a supposedly boring newspaper over other gossipy yet entertaining ones. A city of South Indian culture and human zeal. People are not fans, they are worshippers her. The abundance of faith makes Chennai so Indian! The co-existence of brain and faith (heart) in the same land is a little scary for me. The words written outside the gates of a famous temple had such an effect on my mind that I will never ever be seeing Hinduism in the same light of piousness as before. Chennai tainted Hinduism for me with the words- "Non-Hindus are not allowed inside" written on the notice board outside the temple gates. I felt like returning... I am a Hindu and I felt so unwelcome!

ANYWAY! The temples of Mahabalipuram were a treat to the eyes. The sea shore temple and the history behind it was mesmerizing. We were accompanied by a few hundred schoolgirls during our visit to the temples. It seemed like an excursion. Their "Miss" was so strict and "khadoos"... it seemed funny.

We also saw a sea lion perform amazing stunts at a resort and a crocodile zoo filled with crocs and crocs on one another soaking up some sun.

More later.... am tired now...

Pictures Tomorrow!

So.........! *Sigh*

I am back from the holidays and like always, there's a lot to say. I think I'll better blurt it out on my other blogspot. I'll post the pictures here though. So, watch this space.

Here's the link to my travelogue- the link

:)

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Happy Journey to me........

Off to the Andamans!

Dam!









26-08-08

Today would go down as a memorable day in my diary. Me, Krishna and Atul went to a water reservoir about 20 kilometers away from the city and went boating and trekking, (well, sort of) there.

Amidst all this, the unrelenting humidity of this landscape was trying to kill us with dehydration through perspiration, our saviour came in the form a sweet little drizzle and later on the cool breeze through the hilly highway.

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Kabhi khud pe hansa main.....

... kabhi khud pe roya.... That's the lyrics of the first Indian Rock album sung in Hindi! I like that track!

Today was a dull day. The day began at 3 in the noon or something.... I was lazing on the Sofa when Atul came and we took off to some outdoorsy action. It was hot and humid outside as it is right now and is very irritating!

Life in South India is so much better weather-wise and otherwise. Us North Indians have a philosophy which is very non-violent in nature but still has something wrong about it. It is- "Live and let die." Maybe, it's the weather. South India which has a much gentler climate produces much gentler people. I was born in Spring so maybe that's why I am so gay-ishly gentle. Hehe!

Sunday, 24 August 2008

Janmashtami

Today, as I was riding through the busy streets of Gwalior on the eve of Janmashtmi- a festival celebrating the birth of Lord Krishna... an unexplainable aura gripped me and led me through the festive spirit of India-ness. It is a special feeling to feel Indian, rarely it happens but when happens, it leaves you with goosefleshes and a glitter in the eye.

People had come down to the roads to celebrate the birth of their favourite deity. Such love, such faith, such enthusiasm.... it fixed a smile on my face....

Human pyramid in the middle of the road to break the matki, all the order in the chaos.... people here love to celebrate the fact that they can celebrate. I am proud to be one of them!

GOVINDA AALA RE!!!!!

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Fort Today

Today, me and Krishna went to the Gwalior fort. Had fun playing with the Sony Handycam I got from one uncle....

Have a look-



Friday, 22 August 2008

Bad

No one's perfect in this world.... situations don't let us be. To attain perfection is to attain a perfect sense of judgement but there is no such thing as perfect judgement because every situation has flip sides.

At times, we need to make judgements, decisions and these may not fit well with the standards of morality or the wishes of our near and dear ones. As there is no visible moral police that guides our moves. Our own sense of morality is more often than not blurred by the bias of self-satisfaction.

So, that's how bad people are born!

Hmph!

Talked to Vinny yesterday. She is still her bubbly self. I am still my charming self but still, there's something between us that's missing. Funny how life creates these voids which only heal with time. You cannot try to create the chemistry yourself, chemistry creates itself; that's it! If all goes well, I'll be leaving for Bangalore to wish her a happy birthday....

We talked for about an hour.... there was so much to catch up to but we were not rushing it....! That's a good thing.

Ok... that's it for now.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

Reading habit.

Sometimes we project ourselves as people who we want to be or who we want to be like. I am an example. I don't think I read or have read enough to claim myself as a well-read person. The first few lines or pages of a novel... knowing the names of 19th century English writers doesn't make me who I want to be.

Reading a book requires some amount of patience and a lot of dictionary work... which is not my cup of coffee. (I like coffee over tea.)

Reading a bad book requires none of the above but, c'mon... I have to develop a taste. I mean J K Rowling and Chetan Bhagat might be the current hot shot favourites but, they cannot help you if your expectations are comparing them with P G Wodehouse and Thomas Hardy.

I wish there was a shortcut for this....

Not for you to know...

Well, I have failed to understand people and how miserably! It is not as extreme in everyone's case as I think. It is not always best friends or no friends, friends or enemies, enemies or nobodies etc etc... with everyone.

I think I tend to over-react at times. She doesn't love me. I don't get any love signals. Why do I have to ask "WHY" always. It is a fact, not a theory.

Anyway, that's gibberish for the uninformed... hehehe...

I watch Bachna Ae Haseeno today. Movie's good. Good romantic movie. Ranbir's a star already!

Introduction

Here I won't try to be artsy-phartsy. This is the place where I will try to be more regular on the cost of being cool and intellectual.

So.... without further a due....

Thursday, 10 July 2008

When you love something.........

Absence of something sometimes makes us crave for it… may it or may it not hold any significance in our lives. We may want to have it by our side, let it just sit there without being of any use to us. Absence and more so, pronounced absence is the mist that makes the free flow of thoughts in mind difficult.

What we like belongs to us and what belongs to us should sit right by our side for ready reference. When you like something, one half of you tries to own it and convinces the other gullible half that it is already yours. Ancient Hindu wise men had realized this mind-play long ago and ever since have tried to preach about detachment and contentment through scriptures.

A variation of this peculiar behaviour is when you like something or someone and assume that (it) should belong to you. Repeated telling convinces the mind that you do deserve governance over it in lieu of the love you oh so quietly shower on it. But love, dahling, is exceptional. It cannot be governed, it cannot be generated and in some instances, it does not exist at all.

Love deserves more than it gets but, it is true only when it goes through dismay. Proving your love true is insignificant and without proving your love’s mettle, you don’t deserve it. My love for paradoxes doesn’t stop here, but I should as I am getting late and you are getting bored.

Love,

Abhyudaya