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Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Could have been

Every day is full of so many possibilities. Possibilities brewing, spilling over like boiling milk. You could begin a startup, you can begin a novel, you can get to meet someone who would change your life. Or you can just sit at home and watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones.


Every day, I wake up with a promise that I will do my bit to change my life a little bit. I pick up the broomstick and take out one cobweb from the corner that I have been ignoring. The spider behind my toilet seat is now rendered homeless. I always wonder what happens to all these spiders once the cobwebs are cleaned. It is a scary thought. As soon as you run your mop or broom on the web, the spider just makes a gentle landing on the floor and tiptoes into some discreet corner. It is weird how all of them just disappear suddenly without going anywhere.

Killing a spider is never a choice because somehow the insect demands respect. Almost all insects demand respect, some even pray for it. You can pick a praying mantis up and release it in the garden, you can ignore an ant as it is hygienic and harmless, you can murder a cockroach without regret (because dwellers of gutter, them filthy creatures!) but, you don't know what to do with a spider. Or maybe it is just me. I am usually happy that the spider runs away.

Some people find it natural to kill wall lizards. Lizards also look icky but demand respect. I am rooting for the lizard in a lizard-human fight. Not because I like lizards, it is just that they look so majestic in all their leathery, nasty glory. Such a bummer that they die with just one slam on the head. It is disheartening.

Oh, I digress too much. So, as I was saying- every day you can do so much but you end up spending the day watching YouTube videos. But then I sort of want life to go a bit slow. There is not enough time and although a day looks enough to accomplish one productive thing at a time, productive things of any consequence require a lot of planning. Planning not on your part, but on the part of fate, destiny, life- whatever you'd name the grand scheme of things.

For my book on a dentist's life, I needed so many things to come together- I had to come to Delhi, I had to find work, I had to have patients, I had to meet people. The wisdom that came to me about dating- it also took a lot of boring days. I met women, I talked to them on days which were hard to pass.

Sometimes there was silence. Silence is the time when these vapours solidify. A startup needs a seed. The idea takes birth and form. The point of this whole post is that things take time. But, I see things happening fast too. Contradictions are everywhere. People who want to do things and they know, they are sure what they want to do- they run the world.

Where does the force to run things come from? Is it something you are born with? Or is it just a matter of attitude. A cob web has formed again.

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