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Sunday, 5 June 2016

The chase

Before there was anything revoltingly obnoxious about a guy who chased a girl, the idea had its appeal. The idea of a guy who would go at any lengths to make a girl smile. Before women raised their voices about how they didn't like the idea of guys taking care of them all the time, before the guys went a little crazy in the head, the idea had its appeal.


There used to be something adorable about a guy on his knees hoping for a girl to say 'yes' but then came the march of a bandwagon called 'taking stuff seriously'. Suddenly everything had a subliminal and subtle meaning. The age old practices of holding the door open for ladies, dropping them home safely and saying nice compliments became useless.

Now I am not essentially a guy who doesn't understand the feminist revolution and its after effects. Of course it is overly simplistic to dumb down the whole scenario and say women do not want to be courted anymore.

I think the audience of How I Met Your Mother is a perfect example to demonstrate the phenomenon. Ted Mosby was written as this gooey romantic hopeless character who would go to any lengths in his quest for true love. It was adorable for the first few seasons but then came a different brand of women. Ted, the same character started looking needy and desperate. Of course, it is foolish to hold out for love and other stuff. Of course a more balanced approach to life is more favourable and healthy but, we value martyrs in our society for a reason, right?

Not everyone can offer their lives for a cause they believe in. Of course Ted was no martyr but, the commitment he shows toward his life goal, no matter how selfish or shallow, is the basic reason love stories exist.

Most couples who last long have one person who commits and sometimes over commits. The commitment is lucky to have found love but, those who don't turn into Ted Mosbys. It isn't pathetic to be a little lame in the pursuit of something.

When women say that overly attached or sentimental guys seem a bit needy, they ignore the fact that sometimes the distant and independent man is actually a jerk or just some guy who has a lot on his plate.

So, the message goes out that if you are too busy for love, and it isn't your first priority, then you are quite awesome undeniably.

I guess there is a separate charm to the chase, to the never ending hopefulness. Yes, people do stupid things in the chase and sometimes the whole thing just collapses but, that is what love is supposed to do.

Younger people know less about the after-effects of the chase so, they fall more easy in summer romances and long texts and midnight phone calls. There are breakups, heartbreaks and a million other moments of feelings that rare- feelings that you do not experience later in life.

That overwhelming, sweeping feeling of someone enveloping you might be scary but it, to me at least, is the real stuff. And I am unhappy that it is going out of fashion.

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