Friday 16 April 2010

The story of a bunny!

In a jungle, lived a rabbit, a ball of fur with shiny eyes and long fluffy ears. It roamed around with no fear; open in the fields, unprotected. Sheer coincidence and luck got it out of wolves' claws, crocodiles' jaws and all other wicked things.

There was this one time... the rabbit was hopping about the meadows, unafraid, undeterred and perhaps unaware of the predators around. Fearlessness is a strange thing, it might arise either from courage or lack of knowledge but, it sows seeds of fear in the heart of the most powerful adversary. The fear of "why, isn't he afraid"; the unknown.

A fox was peeping through the tall grass, cunning and calculative; evil to the core. It wanted to stick its sharp, pointed canines in the soft, juicy flesh of the rabbit... mmm... but, wait a second, we see another fox; from the opposite end, waiting with identical intentions to pounce on the all unknowing bunny.

Coincidences occur fairly commonly given the odds of their occurrence! Both of the predators happened to jump in the scene at almost exactly the same time. The rabbit, out of the unnatural instinct it had developed, kept on munching on the grass in the fields, undeterred and now, pretending to be unaware. The foxes looked at each other and then at the rabbit and then again at each other. A sudden breeze of hostility blew in the static air.

The cunning that ran in the veins of foxkind forbade any of the two vixens from taking a step forward. Instead, one of them moved one step back smelling a trap. The second one took two steps back smelling something fishy and the next moment, both of the clever foxes disappeared in the bushes.

Thursday 8 April 2010

Ek Ladka Tha: Part 2

So far we have seen that our lovely little character has been taken out of his comfort zone and has been shown some unforeseen circumstances. Let's see what happens next.

So, the boy was gloating hard on the fact that he had to live the next few years of his life with the goat... suddenly a few identical looking kids of same age as that of the boy entered the scene. Extending their hands of friendship all in one go, said one by one- "Hi, I am Blah-blah, I will play your mother from now on."; "Hi, I am Yakk-yakk, I will play your father from now on."; "Hi, I am yada-yada, I will tell you what to do, I will govern your life from now on."

The boy was so happy; such caring people, he thought he had found a new family. New people to nag him, to control him and people to show directions so that his heart can follow them. What luck!

So, greeting were exchanged, everybody was made comfortable or made to feel comfortable or whatever. That night, the boy proposed, "let's walk the goat around the hillside" and "blah-blah" nearly jumped out of his pants! "WAlK!? What did you... I am sorry... walk the goat? You want to walk the goat? No way! You are not doing it. I am telling you... don't do it. It's not allowed."

"By whom?" the boy asked started.

"Um.... By me."

"But why?"

"Umm.... yea, good question, never thought about it, but whatever, we are not going anywhere."

Next day, the boy was roaming around the lake and he saw the boat float and his heart began to bloat! He asked "Yada-yada"- Hey! Why don't we go boating? And "Yada-yada" after a long cinematic pause replied-


"Wha... but why?"

Yada-yada turned back, fixed her gaze on the boat, took a deep sigh, took another pause and thought for a while and said- "No"

The boy looked at yada yada, then turned to blah blah who also was looking his philosophical best. The boy turned to yak yak and said, "I don't think I can be friends with you guys anymore, you people choke me." Yak-yakk started weeping like a hyena. She was a petite little girl with monstrously cute eyes. The boy felt guilty. He realised that he should not have said this. He asked very softly, looking in the eyes of yakk-yakk what could he do to make up for what he just said and did.

Yakk-yakk said, "don't breathe, stop breathing and please die." There was a sincere, heartfelt appeal in those eyes, it was a promise of a loving future, it was a music of the soul, it was a.... "Oh cut the crap!!"

P.S. I wanted to write more here but, the character named "The Boy" just broke free from my writing and went away... I don't know where. Please, if you find him, let him know that blah-blah, yak-yak and yada-yada are looking for him and they miss him like HELL.

Tuesday 16 March 2010

paper presentation

Here's how i am going to do it in the upcoming conference. Corny? I know

Sunday 7 March 2010

colors of male courtship

From the silent sad types to the over expressive drama artists. From the geeky nerds to the yak-yak types. From the beggars who keep begging to buggers who keep bugging with their texts and calls. Don't you just love them all?

Friday 19 February 2010

Ek Ladka Tha Diwana Sa (One Boy was there, Mad types)


Today we will tell you a story about a boy... a boy different from others. Long ago in the deep valleys of Himalaya lived a family. Their home was a tiny shack which wasn't visible until you waded through a thick forest of pine and supine trees, across the river, over the bridge, under the canopies, dark green....

In the family, there was a Daddy who worked till late in the evening and came back everyday with absolutely nothing! God knows what he used to do. There was a mommy who was always busy in the kitchen, making noises with the utensils, pretending to work without doing anything other than avoiding to spend time with the boy!

This was the boy's world. He had a fixed routine. Go playing outside but not across the bridge, go near the river but don't put your feet in the water, go do something but, don't touch anything. It was the life he knew.

People used to like him for his obedience, he never crossed the bridge; neither his Dad ever talk anything about crossing the bridge. It was an unsaid rule. He never played in water; neither did his mum tell him to fetch a pale of water; not even any discussions about Jack and Jill going up the hill, no nothing.

It was a small sweet world till they had to send the boy to the other side of the hill for further studies. The other side of the hill was unknown, there were no bridges or rivers; but there was a lake and a boat, there was a cow and a goat. He hadn't seen all this ever. Being so imaginative, he had imagined all these things and luckily things were exactly the same as he had daydreamed. The boat could float and the goat could gloat.

(To be continued)

Monday 8 February 2010

Valentine's Day Special

Well, well, well.... Valentine's day is here. Time for the preparations! It's the perfect time for spreading love and fraandship! Just a week before the actual day, the brigade starts celebrating 'rose day', 'propose day', 'chocos day' and what not! Love just happens on the fourteenth day of February. High chances are that it will happen to you if you are jobless, are bunking classes and have been ogling at a cute 'ladies' ever since you family disowned you.

Valentine's day means a lot to those who are actually in love and it's a special occasion to let your other half know that you couldn't imagine life without their support and love. But, it means a hell lot more to those who haven't found love. It's about the hunt! It's about the famously frustrated females and males who are dying without a jee-eff and bee-eff!

It's not like I am a hypocrite or something who thinks 'making frandsip' is so uncool. On the contrary, I was actually almost one of them some time ago, so, I know the inside story. Now. don't you want a scoooop, dah-ling?

Ok, I'll narrate it in the form of a story, a surprisingly short one-

There was a guy and there was a girl. The girl was charming and sweet (and yea, she was awfully fair and couldn't inhale oxygen without the aid of maskara and lip gloss!) There is nothing wrong with being fair but being told "Oh you are so fair, I envy you" over and over again makes you think like you worked hard for this complexion... or like when God was handing out complexions, you murdered two people and severely injured three others to attain this complexion. Now that's bad.

The guy was nice, he oiled his hair daily, spent a considerable amount of time in front of the mirror to get his smile right. Ah! The joy of a perfect *clink* smile! The guy had frands, and his frands had girl frands. The girl also had frands, and they had boi frands. Love was in the air. For the boy it was somewhere in his hair.

The boy used to look at the girl from the corner of the cornermost corner of the city. The girl used to 'notice' him. When the girl used to walk, the boy used to chase her. It was so sweet.

One day the guy got the girl's number and he called her. She picked up the phone and the guy said "I love you"!

There! Right there! Cupid strikes!

The girl blushes but she has to be decent, right? She asks "How come? I don't even know you." The guy says, "I don't know, ever since I have seen you.... *blah blah blah* *Sorry to all the readers, I actually slept through their conversation so, can't report it word to word*

But, the gist is- The girl doesn't trust the guy so, she lets the guy clarify his feelings over a cup of coffee.

The next day, the girl and boy are having coffee together and are munching on sumptuous lumps of "LOVE"


I believe in love now.... no, really! Truly, I do!

Monday 11 January 2010

Even more power

So, as and where we left the story, the autorickshaw was turning to be a menace for humanity. It had given a whole new meaning to the term "illegal human trafficking". As things were getting dark and gloomy and hope was fainting by the day, a superhero rose from the dust. It jumped straight in the middle of the road and startled the unsuspecting auto-rickshaw with its grit and will. It had the super power of turning blind to the traffic and deaf to the honking horns. It could ignore three vehicles at a time and could lead to a super havoc. Auto-rickshaw lost its temper, did a 360 degree flip, cut across the traffic and crooned in its feminine voice. But, our hero was unperturbed, it kept an innocent face, pretended to be looking around but, his actions didn't match the gestures. It confused the hell out of the aggressive rickshaw and it swerved across the street and rammed into a tree!!

A suave, female, intelligent-looking journalist was thankfully around to acknowledge our hero's heroics. She gave him the name- "THE ROAD CROSSER!"

types of invigilators

There's the panicky type who keeps reminding you of every passing second in a tone that would make even the bravest of warriors tensed. and then there's the silence please type who keeps saying those two magical words irrespective of whether they are required or not.

Sunday 10 January 2010

Sunday 3 January 2010