Friday 21 April 2017

My Half Girlfriend

I am sharing a Half relationship story at BlogAdda in association with #HalfGirlfriend

This is a story from my college days. Those were the days when in-campus romances were a wee rare. I mean of course there were a sizable number of them but they were still considered a big deal. No, this was not in the early 80s. I am talking 2007. OK, maybe they were not very rare. But you get my point- we used to be shy.

This was the point when a friend of mine was dating a guy from our batch. Then some stuff happened and they broke up. Now at a party, this friend of mine ended up telling me a lot about how she had been feeling and what getting her heart broken meant for her. Basically, she told me she had sworn off guys and that should have been my red flag but this is where it gets interesting (stupid).

After the conversation, we started talking a whole lot and became quite close. We began talking on phone and the conversations went on and on. During one of our late night discussions, she confessed that she initially had a crush on me. That was enough for my heart to start pounding like a frog. I began thinking about our wedding, thinking about names of our children and what not.

The next morning, I woke up a new man. I had developed strong feelings for her. She however had forgotten what she had said in the night. She woke up the same way she was - just a good friend to me. A few days later, I asked her if she'd like to be be my girlfriend and the answer was a resounding "no".

She told me that she saw me as a friend and it would be awful if we jeopardized all that we had for a stupid infatuation. Beside that, she was quite serious about swearing off men. I told her that I respected that but then, my heart was hard to convince.

A few days later, we went out for lunch. She ordered ice cream for both of us in one cup and fed me with a spoon. 'Alright, we are back in the race,' my heart screamed and how wrong it was!

I popped the question again on phone the same night and got turned down. She sounded irritated by my advances and I decided to shut my feelings down. The next two years, I kept my feelings in check and became what she needed me to be. A good friend. We discussed random things and wondered about life in general. People wondered if we were dating and she denied it vehemently while I secretly enjoyed those insinuations for they were all I had.

But then, on a fateful night, she phoned me to tell me that she had fallen in love. I held the phone close to my ears. It was the sound of my heart breaking. 'But I thought you were done with relationships,' I said. 'That was two years ago, silly,' she said.

I remembered how close I had felt to her in those two years. I wondered if I had gone too platonic; so much so that she could not see my feelings for her. I pretended to be OK and congratulated her on her newfound love for men.

But perhaps that was the day, after two freaking years, that I got closure on her. Well, I do not blame her for she offered nothing more than friendship but yes, sometimes you wish you could change certain parts. And hey! That's life!