Interesting People Around Me.

The Coffee Guy

The hospital in which I work has a Cafeteria. Sitting in my chair, I can just dial 400 on the intercom and the Barista brings me coffee and snacks as ordered. I have made friends with the guy. His name is Ishu Sharma and he is a UP-ite with a Gujarati accent. He doesn’t like to use the electric grill on the sandwiches because he thinks the grill occasionally gives electric shocks. He is an English Literature graduate but all his knowledge has either withered away or was never there as he can hardly read and write in English. There is an India everyone silently knows about. Our educational degrees are a sham and our system is built on nepotism and wily networks.

The guy is fine with it though. He is content pouring coffee for random people throughout the day and likes to make friends with new doctors like myself who can help with his small curious inquiries. He is fascinated easily and can talk at length about things he doesn’t know about.

He told me that his father has the habit of forgetfulness and sometimes forgets obvious things. The details he gave indicate progressive Alzheimer’s disease and the drugs prescribed by other doctors to his father more or less confirmed the diagnosis. He keeps forgetting to mix sugar in my coffee and I am afraid he will inherit his father’s condition.

He proposed a theory to me recently and it is interesting for its unscientific-ness and silliness. He said that if two people were given objects carved out from a bigger parent object, and were made to associate themselves with those objects in their daily lives, their lives are bound to intertwine as a part of the common fate associated with the objects given to them.

To put this absurd theory in more vivid light, he proposes that if there was a large diamond and two pendants were carved out of it and were given to two different people to wear as lockets, rings or bracelets, the pendants will attract each other bringing the two people closer.

Silly theory but it depicts how hope springs fiercely and against logic where adversity is stronger. He is a man with scarce means and that’s why he romanticizes life and is able to see the world through the eyes of his fantasy. Is that why the best writers in history have faced poverty at one or other point of time? Does scarcity push imagination?

Do you believe in his theory too? Et tu?

The Rickshaw Guy

So, last Saturday, I had to take an auto-rickshaw to go to the hospital to take care of some important lab work. I took a rickshaw from my colony to the hospital and back, which would have been a trip of around 3.5 kms. I convinced him to make the round trip for Rs 60 which was an achievement considering that it was night time and it was Gurgaon.

Gurgaon is essentially the city where everything costs a little more than normal. Maybe because everyone has a little more than normal. Of course, that statement excludes the daily wage labourers and manual workers. So yeah, I took the rickshaw and we started with a tense air. The air was tense because the bargain had started at Rs 100 and he was grumpy to have conceded Rs 40 in the bargain. It was only when I had threatened to walk away that he got convinced for the ride.

We went to the hospital quietly and he drove in silence too. On our way back, he began to ask questions as he realized that I was a doctor and was going to the hospital for some fancy urgent work. I decided to engage and replied to his questions. I even asked him to get a check-up done in my clinic. He immediately brought up the topic of affordability and like a novice, I offered him free consultation. I am very liberal with my consultation fee because I feel that the power of healing should be used liberally.

Later on, he told me that his younger brother (he himself looked not older than 16) was working in a dental clinic and was earning a handsome salary. I urged him to stay ambitious and try for such jobs which require technical skill. To my surprise, he told me that he was already married and had to bear the burden of his family. That was the main reason he was unable to freely go job-hunting and field-switching.

I told him that marriage is a big responsibility and should be taken only when one is ready. We talked about marriage as if it was something he was lamenting and I was running away from. Only in the last leg of our short trip he dropped the bomb when he said that his marriage was a ‘love marriage’ and he himself had pushed for it.

My parting words to him were that he then already has everything a person dreams for. We dream, we earn, we work to finally be happy with our loved ones. He had love and happiness. His joy of togetherness trumped my quest for survival.

Sometimes, in our small little, we lose sight of the real targets. Maybe there is nothing to take away from this story, maybe life is just as random as it gets, maybe life is just a series of mood swings.

But, there are times when we WANT and NEED to make sense. Love helps there.

Second Book Walk in Delhi NCR

 Past Sunday I organized the second book walk for my meetup group and it wasn’t a grand success as barring me, the number of participants was one less than last time. Last time, we had two participants. :P

I wasn’t disappointed though because it is not bad for a start. The purpose of the book walk was fulfilled where I met someone who had an interest in books and was willing to share his thoughts. I wish this idea snowballs into something beautiful one day.

Mr Hitesh Rathi, an engineer by profession seemed to have a keen eye for good contemporary nonfiction books. He told me that he had recently completed the book ‘Breaking India’ by Rajiv Malhotra and would highly recommend it. He told me that the book contained 60 pages of bibliography and was a thoroughly researched book. As he was into Indian history and busting myths, I recommended him my favourite book on the topic- ‘Sanskriti Ke Chaar Adhyay’ by Ramdhari Singh Dinkar. Very few people know that Dinkar was actually a historian by education and he took up literature as a hobby later.

Mr Rathi also shared his views about the popular series of Games of Thrones and I couldn’t but ruefully mourn my ignorance in the fantasy fiction department.

I also seem to get the same reaction from every book lover when I tell them I haven’t yet read Mario Puzo’s Godfather which is a wide-eyed look of surprise. I need to read it ASAP. I am losing face.

 

I shared my experience of reading Indian authors- Amitav Ghosh and Arundhati Roy in their respective works The Shadow Lines and The God of Small Things. Mr Rathi talked about how some movies more than make up for the books. We also talked about how the book ‘Shantaram’ is a literary gem.

His prime recommendation to me was ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ by Stephen R Covey. 

I have never touched the genre of motivational books but he talked pretty enthusiastically about it. We also gave a quick thought to Paulo Coelho and how all his books other than 'The Alchemist' were a bit disappointing. We discussed the idea of pooling our reading lists together in the group so that when we meet, we have an idea of who is going to talk about what. Mr Rathi was a keen follower of Indian tradition and wanted to read more about it. He wants to learn Sanskrit so that he can read a firsthand account of Yajurveda etc. I applauded the idea.

Hope to see more people in the next book walk.

Here’s a short note to thank Teja and Pathik for showing up at the first meet. I have bought and am reading Teja’s recommendation- ‘Kane and Abel’ by Jeffrey Archer.

Until Next Time!

Do join us by signing up for the group AND the meet at- http://www.meetup.com/Talking-Books-in-Delhi/events/219372313/

Short Story- Two of a kind

He looked through his window in hope of clear skies and some pleasant weather so that he could begin the day as planned. The glass pane appeared to melt as raindrops trickled down from the top leaving trails of their existence behind. It was an unplanned vacation in the hills which hehad to take. He had to rush at the behest of his own crumbling spirits. The stress from working in a multinational had become overbearing to his personality and the hamster within him wanted a break from the wheel. This hamster in particular was prone to such inclinations as he had loved the way he was ever since he became aware of himself and had always taken drastic and sudden steps to preserve his being from anything that could have transformative influence on it. He was doing so much better when he did not know himself. He smiled from this sudden realization as his memory shot back to times when he had left jobs only because they seemed to encroach on his way of thinking, left relationships that burdened his soul with the rituals that slowly nudged him into certain directions he didn't want to go. 'Good Lord! This inner hamster of mine needs constant feeding!, he thought to himself.

He did understand that this narcissism although fulfilling at a personal level, led to no good consequences and instead resulted in his alienation sometimes. This was the sole reason for which he, for the first time, tried not to give in to his primal instincts and instead tried moulding himself to the circumstances. He had planned this weekend getaway so that he could let his inner restless critter have some time to think and relax. He wanted to cajole it into compromising with the little changes that were slowing creeping inside his soul. He no longer had the time to sit idle in the lawn and soak in the winter sun, his life had again started revolving around staplers, paperweights and late night brainstorming sessions. The critter in his gut had started getting restless.

The bad part about being good at something is that there is no limit to how good you can be. As you push your limits, your talent slowly turns into your work and it piles up and the exit gates start closing up. He had quit five jobs in the past as and when he could no longer find time for himself but, now that he was married and a baby was on its way, he couldn't afford the freedom and luxury of that nomadic lifestyle. He told his wife that it was something work-related and just fled the city so that he could unwind and lull the storms boiling up inside into silence.

Ramesh Singhal was otherwise a very reasonable man. Average built, fierce competitive eyes and an arched grin giving the impression that everything was under control. He flexed his arms often and walked with a certain wobble that made people make more room for him in queues, public places, cafeteria etc. He was aware of the excess of space that he hogged in his manners during his public discourses and was proud of the ingenious method he had created. He could not stand being pushed around and had even feigned handicap or illness to be treated specially. Friends he had; but the kind that cannot be counted on. His marriage was an arranged one and was more of an affair of convenience as the girl was a nice proposal and his parents saw her to be fit for him. It would be wrong to say that Ramesh couldn't love anyone more than himself or that he was a self-centered person, but he did leave little room for others to think otherwise.

Sunanda was a loving wife and it seemed that she had slowly come to terms with Ramesh's over-indulgence with himself. In the early days of their marriage, Sunanda tried hard to form an emotional bond with Ramesh. She would strike conversations, look into his eyes to spot the place where he was broken, some past event which had made him the way he was. She even suspected that he had an affair going on but then as she read the family members' behaviour toward him and realized that her husband was one of a kind. Ramesh too, tried hard to do things that would seem romantic or show that he cares; Sunanda would randomly find some laundry folded, bed made, roses by her side as she woke up, sometimes even breakfast too but, there was just something that Ramesh could not do. She started pitying the poor chap and was quite understanding when these random acts of kindness slowly wore away. They would talk often, laugh and eat together but they hardly knew each other as people. Ramesh was least apologetic for this yet he was worried lest this lack of concern might be considered as selfishness. The way Sunanda took to his ways, he did sometimes worry that there was some pain that was gnawing away her personality. He started thinking about her and he was changing. Most of his thoughts which used to be about him, were now about her.

The office workload had crippled his mind and he couldn't see this vicious circle breaking in the future. He feared that Sunanda would fall for someone else, commit suicide or leave him. These thoughts had quietening effects on his inner hamster. To get away from all this noise in his head, in a bid to perhaps change himself, he had taken this vacation and now it was raining outside.

He sat in his room, thinking How did he turn from a self-obsessed monarch to a slave of his own emotions? He detested the pathos that had gripped his heart and reminisced on all those times when he had just broken free of them. "Is this pain something natural and was I supposed to embrace it all this while?" he reflected deeply. The hamster voices fell silent. The epiphany ran through his skin and he almost stood up and then sank again in the sofa. He decided that he would tell his wife how much he loved her; the anticipation of making friends with his own wife was so immense that he picked up the phone right away. He tried calling her up but repeated attempts went unanswered. His mind took over. "Is it too late?" "Is it possible that she is with her lover making plans of eloping with him and grimacing at the phone as it displays my name?" Sweat drops huddled up on his forehead. It was as if a volcano was about to erupt. He started packing for his return trip.

Sunanda on the other side was reading a book she had finally found time for. She heard her phone ring but ignored it thinking it was some tele-advertiser. "This is a Sunday afternoon and no one can take away this time from me. This is my time"- she thought. A hamster chirped with joy inside her.



Copyright Reserved 2014


- Abhyudaya Shrivastava (abhyu.bats@gmail.com)

Looks Versus Brains!

In my series of intellectual-sounding blogposts, here's one more. We often come across people who are out of our leagues, well, at least I do. Now, that is almost always based on appearance. How does this notion of superior and inferior looks come into picture in a world where it's all relative? I think I'll take the concept of subcultures to explain these conflicts. We know that every society has a mainstream culture and a set of undercurrent or sub- cultures. These cultures emerge out of deprivation and anomie i.e. normlessness. When the society sets certain goals for individuals that turn out to be unachievable for them, those dejected people turn to form their own values and cultural norms and that results in the genesis of what is called as a "subculture".

Looking at people who prioritise looks over anything else, we can assume that they form a subculture which regards beauty as its primary standard. How does physical beauty turn to be so important for these people. Such people are characterized with extremely careful attitude toward their looks and take extra care to groom and prepare themselves. They look down upon the untidy ones and gossip demeaningly about them. One of the reasons of the emergence of such an extreme attitude can be the lack of intellect and thus, the inability of fulfil the criteria expected by the society which considers academics to be the criteria of prime importance. So, in this case, the geeks and nerds are derogatory terms and hunks and babes gain social approval.

If we reverse the scenario and consider the external beauty-minded ones to be the mainstream culture, then the outcasts would consist of these braniacs who actually are lacking in the department of physical appearance and the ability to groom themselves. This perspective assumes that these people work on their academic skills harder because they need to compensate for the sake of their self worth for their lack in appearance. And since this subculture has to gain approval, it looks condescendingly on those who do not follow its rules. Bimbos and dimwits are some of the condescending terms popularized by this subculture.

Now, by the way of above explanation, it is unclear as to which one is the main or dominant culture of the society as both seem to be overlapping subsets of each other. I'd propose that we do not delve deeper into the question of which one is dominant and for our understanding's sake assume that both are more or less equal in terms of quantity and frequency in the population.

There are also people who have both the brains and looks. For them, there still, is a question of priority. I think, it is these people who can provide us with deeper insights into the psychological underpinnings of the condescendings and admirations involved in either societal norms. Do they have to be critical of 'bimbos' when they're with their fellow nerds? Do they look down upon 'geeks' when they're with hunks? I think they are the perfect chameleons, at least some of them. The others might pick a side and stick with it as diplomacy might not be their cup of tea.

So, which one are you?

Humanity Still Alive In Delhi

I was walking down the sidewalk near Patel Nagar metro station today. It was dinner time and I was getting my aloo paranthas parcelled from the roadside dhaba-like shop. I do despise having mundane paranthas for dinner but sometimes, I impose them on myself as they are the cheaper option. Anyway, as I was saying- I was waiting for my dinner outside the shop when I saw a neatly dressed, otherwise nice looking guy sitting on the roadside holding his head in his hands, sweating profusely and grimacing in pain. I wondered whether he had come running from somewhere and was just sitting down to catch his breath. I was analysing the situation in my head from a distance, staring at him with slight amount of pity.

Then I saw this passer-by who stopped and asked the guy who was sitting down whether he was okay. The guy said he'll be ok and he was just feeling a bit unwell. I was still unsure of the level of compassion this passer-by had in himself and it'd be an understatement if I say I must have underestimated him. He insisted the guy to stand up and come show to a doctor. The sick guy, in turn, refused the offer politely- perhaps trying to be modest and self-sufficient.

Then, I saw a crowd forming around the guy. It was a strange phenomenon. Till now, no one was stopping to see the guy sweating and reeling in discomfort but as soon as someone else took an initiative, people started hoarding to view the tamasha. All this while, I was a part of the onlooker crowd which makes me really disappointed with myself being a healthcare professional myself. This thought should have come to me. Suddenly, I realized there was so much to learn from this world for me. I think for every one bad deed that deters you from being good, there are a thousand good examples that you can take inspiration from.
Eventually, the helpful dude grabbed the sick one by his wrist and insisted on taking him to a doctor and getting him medicines. I also saw him getting some juice from the nearby fruit juice shop for him. Once the sick dude had his juice, the stranger clasped his hand tightly and led him to a doctor.
As others looked on.

I heard the crowd mumble- "He shouldn't have left home if he knew he was gonna fall sick." and "What a pity!" etc etc.